CS: You know it’s country music when you get bumped up to headliner because somebody’s in jail.
JR: I’m not sure whether to be proud of my son or furious with him. While walking through an icy parking lot, he grabbed my arm to keep me from falling. How nice, I thought. Until he uttered this gem….I should get my patch for helping the elderly.
”This is so fun! I’ve never broken into such a nice house before!” -Micky, Thanksgiving Night
IK: He’s an ear, nose and throat doctor, not a vomit doctor.
LW: Hey, I have a question. Do they have maternity leave at Hooters?
JO: My son Jack turned 4 on Saturday. I asked him what he’s going to do when he grows up. He said he’s going to grow a beard and marry mommy.
RR: There was a post-it note on my desk. I looked for how I would hit reply.
TV: I couldn’t make it to the Sarah Paretski book reading because I had to go home and construct bullet bras.
TV: He calls it Circus of Ole.
PY (to video client): Does the carcass move at all?