CULTURE
Reading The Side of Trucks
By Scott Jacobs
Since the first of the year, I have been working out at a little gym on Western Avenue. The exercise begins and ends with 10-minutes on the treadmill looking out through plate glass windows at the world’s ugliest condominium across the street.
Foot traffic on Western Avenue is sparse, mostly homeless people pushing shopping carts, so that distraction passes quickly. But cars speed by constantly in both directions and, with them, an amazing array of cartage vehicles ferrying goods and services through the city.
Just for the fun of it, I took a tape recorder the other day to read the signs that pass by. While I walked into the window, this is what I saw:
First up, a Chicago police van, a pick-up with pallets, a pick-up with ladders, a Chicago water management pick-up, Chartwell’s School Services, Nattoli & Sons Italian Sausage Shop, another pick-up with copper piping, Rose’s Trucking Company, The Chicago Animal Rescue Unit, The Professional Moving Specialists, another van with ladders . . .
One minute gone. Sure are a lot of ladders moving around today. There must be a lot of work that is over our heads.
The CTA Route 49 bus, Nealey Foods, FriCold Heating & Plumbing (with ladder), Resurrection Health Care, Old Castle Glass, UPS, DeMar Logistics.
Two minutes. That’s a monster truck, I'll bet there's a ton of logistics inside.
The Linden House at St. Elizabeth’s Hospital (filled with people), a Chicago Public Schools facilities pick-up, a Coca Cola truck wrapped in product ads, Eurosonic Blind Cleaning Service, Chicago Suburban Express –“The Liftgate Fleet” -- J. Gahn Heating, Plumbing, Painting & Drywall, a Chicago garbage truck with a “Check Here for Clean Air” ad on the side.
Who puts advertising on the side of garbage trucks?
Fed Ex Freight, Carmichael Cartage, Chicago Cooling Company, R & S Used Oil Services. . .
I wonder if they are dropping off or picking up.
A Chicago Streets & Sanitation Graffiti Blaster, EnviroTest Illinois, Chicago Property Services, a white van with another ladder, LKQ Quality Auto Parts, Mayfield Transport Company, another Chicago garbage truck with brooms and shovels hanging off the back.
Minute three. Although not technically part of the survey, I can’t help but notice a black stretch limo come by, its driver on a cell phone, and turn into the nearby Dunkin Donuts.
Milan Express Company, Com Ed, S. Rosen’s (“Great Sandwiches Start with Great Bread”), Ivan’s Cartage, Lay’s Potato Chips, Krone’s Towing, Windy City Cartage, Lindwald Construction, GE Appliances, ReMax, The Cradle (an Evanston adoption agency), Chicago Medicar, Chicago water management (again), American Floor, Abt TV & Appliances.
Minute four. I’ll bet they’re delivering new flat screens for Super Bowl Sunday.
Impact Digital Color Printing, Resurrection Health Care (again) . . . Here’s one you don’t see every day: Henricksen’s Fire Extinguisher Sales & Service, specializing in mobile service.
Minute five. Now that’s a business you wouldn’t think of -- selling fire extinguishers door to door.
Vitner’s Prize Winning Snacks, U-Haul $19.95, Office Max, a Chicago Park District pick-up with scaffolding, NuComfort, AdvaCare, AirGas . . .
Minute Six. Wanted: Corporate name inventor. No spelling or grammar required.
Quality Wheelchair Transportation, National Waste Services (filled with dumpsters), a Chicago garbage truck, another Chicago garbage truck going the other way, The Warren Oil Company, another National Waste Services garbage truck . . .
Minute seven: Either this is pick-up day or garbage is our number one commodity.
Bareman’s Quality Dairy Products, JET Cartage, Best Buy, Federal Logistics, Yellowtail Wine, Miller Lite . . .
Yep, definitely Super Bowl weekend.
Caroline’s Battery Service, A Chicago Fire Department Ambulance, Reaper Towing . . .
Minute eight: So how does this work? We go out and plant our cars in the street; then at harvest time, they come out to reap them?
. . . another pick-up with ladders, a white van, another white van, another white van, America Towing, Universal Scrap Metal, HVE Vending Machine Specialists, RDS Disposal, Lakin Environmental Industries, Calumet Meat Company, The Security Shop, Red Onion Installation Group . . .
Minute nine: what do they install? Red onions?
Linde Oxygen-Refrigerated Liquid, U.S. Post Office, another white van with a ladder, Mr. Floor . . .
Quality You Can Stand On.
A Rent-a-Center panel truck (so covered in graffiti you can hardly read it,) I (heart) MT Dairy Services, Terminal Transportation, LPI Manufacturing, Jalisco Towing, Pilsen Auto Glass, and finally, Closets Unlimited. Call for a free estimate.
Minute ten: So that’s about it. From this vantage point, it sure looks like we eat too many snacks, spend too much money fixing up our homes, get sick too often, and generate a lot of garbage. But what do I know? I’m just a man on a treadmill reading the side of trucks.
Next week, we’ll look at the ingredients on our water bottle.
