POLITICS
Ten Men Who Will Not Be President
By Stump Connolly
Anyone in America can grow up to be President of the United States. That’s the myth. So there are now 21 candidates running in the 2008 election who believe it. But only one of them will succeed. Let’s get the kiddies off the street.
Here are 10 candidates that won’t win:
Republicans
1.
California Rep. Duncan Hunter. Who’s he? Nuff said.
2.
Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee. Isn’t one Arkansas governor
from Hope enough? Best known for losing 100 pounds, Huckabee wants to represent
the conservative wing of the Republican Party. But it’s a crowded field.
Huckabee won’t make it through Iowa. Food deprivation is not a platform
in Iowa, or anywhere else.
3.
Kansas Senator Sam Brownback. Conservative family values may need a spokesman,
but America needs someone who can lead us out of Iraq. Where was he on that
play?
4.
Tommy Thompson, former governor of Wisconsin. Wildly popular in Wisconsin,
he can probably win the Wisconsin primary. Not that it matters, or that 12
electoral votes won’t make a difference in the next election.
Democrats
5.
Dennis Kucinich. Quickly becoming the Ralph Nader of his party. Mr. 2%. Make
a wish.
6.
Former Alaskan Sen. Mike Gravel took the subway to announce his long-shot
candidacy for the presidency in April, 2006. A cute gimmick –had anyone
been watching. But no one’s been watching for a long time now. The 75-year-old
Gravel left the Senate in 1980 when he lost his re-election bid . . . zzzzzzzzz.
Times change.
7.
Connecticut Senator Christopher Dodd. Even if he can raise the $50 million
buy-in fee to compete, he has no political strategy for how to spend it. Dodd
is popular with his Senate colleagues but lacks a national constituency. We’re
not holding this election inside the Washington beltway. Save your money.
Drop out.
8.
Former Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack. He probably won’t even win his own
first in the nation caucus. And even if he does, where does he go from there?
9.
Delaware Senator Joseph Biden. Dead on arrival. Wanting to be president can
be a candidate’s own worst enemy. Biden comes across best when he lets
others talk about his credentials. But every time he sees an opportunity,
he jumps in and talks too much. There’s no reason to believe he won’t
blow it again.
10.
New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson. A great opportunity to show the diversity
of the Democratic Party. But when your leading contenders are a black man
and a woman, who thinks an Hispanic from New Mexico named Richardson has a
snowball’s chance in hell?
I could be wrong. On the Republican side, the frontrunners are John McCain, Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney. On the Democratic side, it’s Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John Edwards.
There are two more contenders that merit consideration, if only because they might add an interesting new voice to the national conversation. Newt Gingrich on the Republican side and former Gen. Wesley Clark on the Democratic side have already announced their intentions.
But let’s not kid ourselves. Politics ain't beanbag. This coming year, the frontrunners will all be setting up sophisticated political operations already taking shape to use computers, the internet, data-mining, rolling polls, friendster networks and other new media strategies to win the presidency.
The White House lies at the end of an especially long and winding trail this time around. Although there are sure to be surprises along the way, these ten men will be lucky to get out of the starting gate, much less hobble home.
