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By Scott Langill

Don't forget Fido's Eternal Earth-Bound Pets Tee

Judgment Day is pencilled in for 6:00 p.m. (in each successive time zone) on May 21. The virtuous Christians among you had better make provisions so that your unraptured pets aren’t left staring at an empty bowl. But there are other creatures that will be left behind, non-believers who will care for your pets. After The Rapture Pet Care features a one-time $10 fee to ensure that your beloved pet remains comfy during Armageddon. If you’re unconvinced that their Volunteer Pet Caretakers (and Google’s servers) are entirely rapture-proof, then consider a Eternal Earth-Bound Pets. The $135 fee includes the assurance that their representatives “have blasphemed in accordance with Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation.” If you’re planning on being left behind yourself and want some new pets, join the 232,000+ Facebookers attending the Post rapture looting or place your own Craiglist ad.

After The Rapture Pet Care

Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, USA

Post rapture looting

Rapture on May 21st? I would like your stuff (Suffolk County)


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